RAW

FREEDOM. feeling. Art. love. PASSION. EXPERIENCES. Sex. energy. LIFE. madness. pain. Photography. Blood. DESTINY. attraction. Anxiety. DARKNESS. music . Future. ROADS. Chemistry. soul. ADDICTION. memories. Heart. REAL.

this Is ME.

Warm Blood

I know I don't post much lately, it's been months since I last updated this. There was a time when my blog was a huge part of my life, when something outstanding happened to me I couldn't wait to write it down and let the world know about it, but somewhere on the road it stopped being so important. I have learnt to appreciate moments that are forever gone without trying to posses them all in photographs or writings. Sometimes I don't feel like a photographer/writer anymore. I'm trying to live in THIS moment, and god, it's hard! I have always being attracted to that nostalgic feeling of the past but also to the hopes of the future, my head living in between those times, remembering and planning, but not much of enjoying the present.
I want to find the balance, to be happy with where I am right now, but I want to start documenting again. I hope there still is a creative person somewhere inside me.
I re-read my old posts and how I craved feeling, warmblooded experiences and passion. And oh, I have felt! The most beautiful love and maniac passion and a blinding hate and utter sadness, This year has been full of that. One day I found myself lying on the floor, tears running unstoppable down my cheeks and all I wanted was an end for this, and end for this love that was driving me crazy, an end for this hurting that was killing me. I loved him beyond words and all that I felt just couldn't fit in one body. It was hard to get out of the dark hole I was living in, but then I realized that it was exactly what I always asked for. I wanted to live, to feel and to love this intense and passionate, and that is exactly what I got. It wasn't sweet, pretty and lasting, it was fast, honest, and fierce. It was beautiful while it lasted, but now is the moment to continue with the life, And there are so many places, people and experiences ahead!
I will try to write and photograph more often, to post more and focus in those things that I love and that I've stopped doing. I know I'm going to be happy again and everything will be fine, like it always is, I just need time.

Winds of Freedom

model: Daniela 

San Luis Potosí, 2013

Bacalar

a month ago a couple of friends and I roadtripped to a magical place called Bacalar. 

we arrived late night and jumped right away in the lagoon, the water was warm and the stars shined bright above us, there was a fire nearby where people played music and that was the only sound you could hear. life was beautiful and it was all ours.

we stayed in a little bungalow that was a few steps away from the lagoon and the next morning after having breakfast we went kayaking to the other side of the lagoon where we would collect shells and enjoy the view. 

I sat on the dock and let the sun kiss my skin while little fish swam around my feet and the water made my fingers wrinkle, and there wasn't anything better or worse, it was just it, me living that moment, in the present, where everything was peaceful and bliss.

I tend to forget where I am, to worry  and stress about non worthy things, to let myself fall into a routine, and believe me, it's the worst thing you can do. 

I know I am very blessed and extremely lucky, I live in paradise, I have a beautiful family that loves and supports me despite everything, wonderful friends all over the world that care and are always happy to hear about me, an amazing lover that I admire and has taught me so much and makes me grow as a person every day, a great job that lets me live how I want, and lots of oportunities and doors opening for me, I know all of this, and please know that I truly, deeply appreciate it. I just have to focus more on these things instead of the not-so-pretty ones, which sometimes is (but shouldn't be) hard work.

whenever you're feeling down, push yourself out of the comfort zone you've created, do something different, and it doesn't have to be something radical or extreme, it could mean going for a walk or having a cup of coffee in your favourite café instead of staying at your place watching tv or scrolling through facebook. 

write, photograph, dance, paint or whatever you feel like to, even if you think you are not good at it, but express yourself. don't let all those feelings in, because they will devour you without a doubt. 

and most important, know that you're never alone, there will always be someone who loves and believes in you, even when you don't. 

our home for the weekend

Olga taking pictures of our bungalow

the lagoon of the seven colors