Bacalar

a month ago a couple of friends and I roadtripped to a magical place called Bacalar. 

we arrived late night and jumped right away in the lagoon, the water was warm and the stars shined bright above us, there was a fire nearby where people played music and that was the only sound you could hear. life was beautiful and it was all ours.

we stayed in a little bungalow that was a few steps away from the lagoon and the next morning after having breakfast we went kayaking to the other side of the lagoon where we would collect shells and enjoy the view. 

I sat on the dock and let the sun kiss my skin while little fish swam around my feet and the water made my fingers wrinkle, and there wasn't anything better or worse, it was just it, me living that moment, in the present, where everything was peaceful and bliss.

I tend to forget where I am, to worry  and stress about non worthy things, to let myself fall into a routine, and believe me, it's the worst thing you can do. 

I know I am very blessed and extremely lucky, I live in paradise, I have a beautiful family that loves and supports me despite everything, wonderful friends all over the world that care and are always happy to hear about me, an amazing lover that I admire and has taught me so much and makes me grow as a person every day, a great job that lets me live how I want, and lots of oportunities and doors opening for me, I know all of this, and please know that I truly, deeply appreciate it. I just have to focus more on these things instead of the not-so-pretty ones, which sometimes is (but shouldn't be) hard work.

whenever you're feeling down, push yourself out of the comfort zone you've created, do something different, and it doesn't have to be something radical or extreme, it could mean going for a walk or having a cup of coffee in your favourite café instead of staying at your place watching tv or scrolling through facebook. 

write, photograph, dance, paint or whatever you feel like to, even if you think you are not good at it, but express yourself. don't let all those feelings in, because they will devour you without a doubt. 

and most important, know that you're never alone, there will always be someone who loves and believes in you, even when you don't. 

our home for the weekend

Olga taking pictures of our bungalow

the lagoon of the seven colors

of darkness and light

I had stopped creating. I was uninspired and needed some time to heal. But today I’m ready to document and create again, to push myself away from the comfort zone I have been living in. I've learned so many things in the last two months that my mind spins fast when I try to type them down. I've met lots of beautiful people with so much light inside them, but also good people who are terribly disrupted by their egos and their vision of life.
I was overexposed and vulnerable and let them suck my energy away; I gave my joy to the vampires erroneously thinking I could save them, only to find out that the only ones who can save us is ourselves. I had futureless hopes of being loved by someone who’s afraid of feeling. But they didn’t hurt myself, I did. I expected and accepted what I was given without thinking. It was ephemeral and fleeting, but it opened my eyes to a new reality I didn’t know. We can delegate and blame, but we can't escape truth: the responsibility is ours. I had forgotten one of the wisest advices someone has given me: always be completely responsible of your life, your acts, your feelings. Everything, I repeat, EVERYTHING that happens in my life depends solely on me and I have the absolute power of changing it if I desire to. Others are no more than mirrors that treat me as I let them to. Always surround yourself of people of light and show the world how happiness is possible if you just let it be.

To a peaceful, loving and full of new adventures 2014.